I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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