new low.... made out with someone while peeing
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
