there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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