I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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