Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.