What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.