9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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