Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(773): View more from Illinois

I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.

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(518): View more from New York

i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again

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(937): View more from Ohio

Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover

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27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
Read it at the TFLN blog
(205): View more from Alabama

It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.

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(850): View more from Florida

i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...

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(703): View more from Virginia

..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking

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(504): View more from Louisiana

I need to stop waking up with no pants on.

(1-504): View more from Louisiana

what happened this time

(504): View more from Louisiana

I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room

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