THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
