I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
