this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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