Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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