singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
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he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
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He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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