At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
