well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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