Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Randomize
