i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
