I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
