what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
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