i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
