Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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