there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize