I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize