Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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