I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
my poor anus
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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