The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize