Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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