She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize