Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
