did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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