These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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