I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
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My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
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Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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