So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Randomize
