That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Just pee around me
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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