tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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