i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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