from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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