i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
You are the jesus of drinking
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
