They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
