watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
