Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
