I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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