He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
This toilet bowl is my home.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
