Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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