I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
