Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
