a queef is a wish your heart makes.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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