Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
