I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
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