I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I am midnight drunk by noon
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize