I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
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No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
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Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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