If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
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