great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
