You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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