just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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