This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
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he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
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The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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