I looked at my own cervix.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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