you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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