Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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