the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
