I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Randomize
