No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
