The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
You made out with two different species that night
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
