I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
