i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
